I thought I would like doing a blog about my fertility journey. That it would be a good outlet for me to express my feelings to people other than my husband/sister/mom etc. I’ve found it more of a burden than anything else. Including myself I have 4 followers, none of whom make comments on my blog posts, share stories, or commiserate. All things that I thought would happen when I started this. I feel like I’m talking into outer space sometimes, like there’s a great big void that my words go into and disappear before anyone reads or acknowledges them. I’m really just not getting any fulfillment from doing this. So, I think it’s time to say farewell. It’s been real people. Adios!
I know it’s been a long time since I updated, and honestly I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep up with this blog thing. I’ll fill you in with a quick update.
Obviously my pregnancy test for December’s cycle was negative, otherwise I would have posted the good news. So I went in on CD5 for my baselines, and later in the afternoon I got a call from the nurse telling me that they thought I had a polyp in my uterus and could I please come in the next day at noon for a saline hysterosonogram with the doctor, so she can get a better look. I had one of these done back in July so I knew what to expect, it’s no big deal, just a bit messy when you get up afterwards and the saline starts dripping out of you…gross. So the test confirmed it, there’s a big ol’ polyp on my uterus, right in the spot where an embryo would implant, so says the doctor. So I have to have surgery to get it removed, and that surgery is schedule for Jan 26th. The surgery is called a Hysteroscopy, and its only a minor surgery because it’s done through the vagina with a tiny camera and mini scissors to cut out the polyp, so there’s no actual incision made in my body. Google it if you want more of a description, but from what the doctor says, it will take 15 min or so, and that I can go back to work the next day. I do, however, get to be treated like a princess for the rest of that day. Lucky for my Mom, she get’s to be the one to take care of me that day since my husband has jury duty that day. She will be driving me that day too, since I’ll be having some sort of anesthesia and will be too loopy to drive myself home.
Initially I was really upset and depressed after finding out about all this. But the doctor did say that it could be the reason that I’m not getting pregnant, and maybe this will fix things. I did a lot of research (as I’m known to research everything to death–damn you internet!) and it seems that this could be the answer to my prayers. I’m no so naive that I think this is the magical solution and that I’ll get pregnant naturally on my next cycle. But. Everything that I’ve read online indicates that a very high percentage of women that get a uterine polyp removed go on to become pregnant afterwards, and it was a ridiculously high percentage, like 63% or something. So, I’m hopeful. That’s all I’m willing to admit to right now though. 🙂
The rest remains to be seen, and I will try to remember to update more frequently as things happen. Any of my readers (all 5 of you…LOL) ever go through this?
I haven’t updated here recently because there’s not much to say. I had a blood test done on Friday to test for pregnancy and it was negative. Good old AF came the next day, right on schedule. We’ve been trying for a year and a half now so it shouldn’t upset me so much but for some reason, this time it upset me. Well, not upset exactly, but more like disappointed. In my mind, I was thinking that the combination of Clomid, Follistim, and hCG SURELY was going to be the magic combination that finally worked for us. I don’t know why I thought that but I did. I even took hpt’s on Wednesday and Thursday, and I almost NEVER take those anymore because I just can’t stand seeing them turn out negative every single time. That just goes to show you how hopeful I was this time.
So, we’re going to try an IUI this month. My husband is not happy about that, he feels like we’re “playing God” and that it shouldn’t be this way. I agree that it shouldn’t be this way but I’m just so concerned that it won’t happen without some medical assistance. He feels like he’s doing something wrong, even though I try to assure him that he’s not. This whole situation is so emotionally draining and difficult. We’re both frustrated beyond belief and secretly part of me worries that we’re never going to be parents. 😦